Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! the Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Psalm 46:10,11
Forever drawing me back
You watch
as I run frantically
from one chaos to the next
seeking to arrive, but never arriving
living the lie:
if I just do this, that, the next thing
then stillness will come
and I will find You
So I sit, exhausted,
in the cool of Your Presence
expectantly
needfully
trustfully
mind swirling dizzily with a thousand different stories
words held dormant
only now, in hindsight, truly heard
thoughts, prayers, questions, tears,
wounds, hopes, regrets and fears
past and present converging
in a weary, disordered mass
My body tense, on edge
aching with the madness
of this life’s demands
every muscle tort
every sinew straining to hear You
restlessly resisting the ringing of the phone
the traffic outside the window
the children on the way to school
the random, relentless tyranny
of things and sounds and
stifling banality
Undeterred You wordlessly gather me
into the Stillness of I AM
prying my fingers loose
from all I would so rigidly cling to
wrapping me softly in Your All-ness
kissing open my eyes
to a different, truer reality
truth and mercy,
in welcoming familiarity,
washing over my open wounds
You teach me again how to sink into You
as if it was something we’ve never done before
as if it wasn’t something I’ve learned and
forgotten in rapid repetition
only to run back thirsting for more
and finding the way back
along this old familiar road
through this gate that never closes
has become my only way home
And in the Stillness there is the Knowing
and in the Knowing there is renewal
and surrender
and in the surrender there is grace
to re-enter the fray
to live and fight another day
and in the grace
the sweet remembrance of our communion
and the promise of Your keeping
until I come hurtling
desperate again
into the Stillness
© Cheryl McGrath, Bread for the Bride, 2015 and beyond. Copyright Notice: Permission is granted to freely reproduce any Bread for the Bride articles in emails or internet blogs, unaltered, and providing this copyright notice is included. To permanently display an article on any static website please contact me for permission.
Photo Credit: Wallaroo Images
Bread for the Bride 
Cheryl, I must have missed this when you posted it! It’s fab – so articulates it all.
One question: The ‘cycle’ you describe…is it normal…..do we ever get over the fleshly struggling with busyness vs stillness? Anyone?
And is indifference and lack of passion at times a problem for anyone else?
In slight desperation/exasperation!
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Hi Karen,
Wish I had the answers….I don’t! Is the cycle of distraction and running back into His arms normal? I think it is a normal part of growth, but I’m not there yet. All I can say is there is grace, and more grace, even when we feel indifferent and lack passion. He knows how to keep us, even though we don’t know how to keep ourselves. This is a journey, but the journey doesn’t go on forever….it has a destination. We are journeying together into the fullness of Christ. The Holy Spirit is our companion and comforter. The Father awaits. It will be worth it!
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Tears, sister.
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Enough said.
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Beautifully worded and oh how my heart empathize. It is such an effort to shut out the screaming of the world to hear the whisper of God.
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Yes!
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All I can say is mmmMMmmmmm 🙂
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🙂
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Wow, Cheryl. You have so well described my present inner struggles right now. The Lord is drawing me back to a deeper and more regular place of intimacy with Him, which the busyness of this life so constantly wars against. Thank you for articulating that struggle and also the wonderful peace and consolation that His Presence brings in the Stillness.
I’m presently reading through The Autobiography of Madame Guyon and it is “wrecking” me. Her inner devotion to Christ, love for the personal working of the cross, and abandonment to God is redefining my spiritual world. If you haven’t read it, or her Short and Easy Meathod of Prayer, you would be greatly blessed.
Thanks for sharing your heart through this poetic piece. It was very timely!
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David, it is good to hear from you my friend. He knows how to touch us in the deepest place of our need, doesn’t He? I have not read a great deal of Madam Guyon but will see what I can do about that. Rich blessings to you.
CM
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wow awesomely beautiful and inspiring! oh how we need to be constantly reminded that there is a place in the “stillness” tx”
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Amen Maggie. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
CM
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