Once upon a time

I used to think I had some answers

That was before I knew the Answer had me

 

I used to know all ten commandments

That was before You showed me

I didn’t even know the first one

 

I used to think others had mapped it all out for me

That was before You led me

Into unchartered landscapes

 

I used to sit at their feet absorbing every sentence

That was before I learned

Their feet were no cleaner than mine

 

I used to go with the crowd to the house of the Lord

That was before I understood

I am the house of the Lord

 

I used to play the game, jump the hoops, follow the rules

That was before I discovered

The game never ends and the rules always change

 

I used to crave mens’ approval

That was before I knew

What it is to have Yours

 

I used to have my plan

That was before You upset it

 

I used to be a people pleaser

That was before I understood I please You

 

I used to think I had life figured out

That was before Life figured me out

 

I used to think I loved God

That was before I learned it’s God that loves me

 

I used to work hard at becoming righteous

That was before You rained on my scoreboard

 

I used to think it would be cool to be a leader

That was before I knew the cost of servanthood

 

I used to think I had all bases covered

That was before You invited me to Your Cross

 

I used to look for miracles

That was before You made me the miracle

 

I used to run and hide

That was before You taught me how to fly

 

I used to believe I was free

That was before You laughed in the face of my jailer

And threw away his keys

 

I used to be afraid

That was before You showed me my grave

And met me inside

 

I used to knock sheepishly on the door

That was before we ran boldly into Abba’s arms

Together

 

Once upon a time

I used to stand looking at Your empty tomb from a distance

That was before I heard the Spirit shout:

“He lives, and nothing will ever be the same!”

 

That was before, like John, I ran helter skelter to see for myself

Like Mary, I fell at Rabboni’s feet

Like Thomas, I touched the scars and cried out:

“My Lord and My God!”

 

Once upon a time

I used to paddle in the stream

That was before You made me a deep sea diver

 

©Cheryl McGrath, Bread for the Bride, 2012